| All Roads Lead to Rome About the essential role of grief in all of life's processes and experiences "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked", Kahil Gibrahan |
Many people would gladly prefer to resolve their anxiety, depression, insomnia, hopelessness by some
method that quickly bypasses the need to grieve. Grief is an experience which we would fear and gladly avoid.
Our consumerism culture promotes and sells the avoidance of difficult emotions by providing an array of
distractions. We enjoy the illusion that life should be all fun and resent the lessons of loss and impermanence.
If you think about it, life gives us many blessings and gifts, and by the time we die, we have to give them all back.
We might be able to take the lessons, experiences and memories with us into the afterlife, but that is mainly a
matter of faith. Essentially, we give back everything we are given by life. Young or old, whatever we acquire or
enjoy, we will be grieving at some point. Lastly, we grieve life itself as we die.
method that quickly bypasses the need to grieve. Grief is an experience which we would fear and gladly avoid.
Our consumerism culture promotes and sells the avoidance of difficult emotions by providing an array of
distractions. We enjoy the illusion that life should be all fun and resent the lessons of loss and impermanence.
If you think about it, life gives us many blessings and gifts, and by the time we die, we have to give them all back.
We might be able to take the lessons, experiences and memories with us into the afterlife, but that is mainly a
matter of faith. Essentially, we give back everything we are given by life. Young or old, whatever we acquire or
enjoy, we will be grieving at some point. Lastly, we grieve life itself as we die.
| And she said to the Prophet, tell us of Joy and Sorrow. And he answered; Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was often filled with your tears. And, how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, "joy is greater than sorrow", and others say, "Nay, sorrow is greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep on your bed.................. by Kahil Gibran, On Joy and Sorrow from The Prophet |
Look at the page on Anxiety; notice how anxiety is a signal
emotion telling us that there are feelings beneath that we have been
avoiding. Overwhelming events, especially from before an age of
understanding, generate reactive intolerable emotions that a
younger mind cannot experience. Those emotions are kept out of
awareness but are expressed physically by digestive problems,
muscle contraction, unpleasant sensations, and sleep disturbances.
It's as though we had gone into shock and never emerged,
''sleepwalking'' through life, getting by but not feeling alive.
So, the ''quick-fix techniques'', [NLP, EFT, EMDR], can rapidly
desensitize to the old fears and, along with medication, provide
symptom relief. The origin of the symptom often remains
unaddressed and avoided. Life's challenges, the process of
maturing, the movement towards acceptance is incomplete.
We don't get out of growing up without paying the grief. We can
avoid growing up by holding grudges, distracting and medicating,
but ultimately the cost of growing up is preferable to the cost of
staying in shock and refusing to accept the truth of what life has
brought.
emotion telling us that there are feelings beneath that we have been
avoiding. Overwhelming events, especially from before an age of
understanding, generate reactive intolerable emotions that a
younger mind cannot experience. Those emotions are kept out of
awareness but are expressed physically by digestive problems,
muscle contraction, unpleasant sensations, and sleep disturbances.
It's as though we had gone into shock and never emerged,
''sleepwalking'' through life, getting by but not feeling alive.
So, the ''quick-fix techniques'', [NLP, EFT, EMDR], can rapidly
desensitize to the old fears and, along with medication, provide
symptom relief. The origin of the symptom often remains
unaddressed and avoided. Life's challenges, the process of
maturing, the movement towards acceptance is incomplete.
We don't get out of growing up without paying the grief. We can
avoid growing up by holding grudges, distracting and medicating,
but ultimately the cost of growing up is preferable to the cost of
staying in shock and refusing to accept the truth of what life has
brought.
| When we ''wake up'', emerge from shock, begin to feel alive again, the first feeling to greet us is usually grief. |
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So why bother? Waking up to life as it is brings the
capacity to feel all the emotions, not just the grief, but joy,
satisfaction, excitement, curiosity, suspense, intrigue,
romance, passion, intensity, masculinity, femininity, ambition,
bittersweet, and any other emotion that makes life worthwhile.
capacity to feel all the emotions, not just the grief, but joy,
satisfaction, excitement, curiosity, suspense, intrigue,
romance, passion, intensity, masculinity, femininity, ambition,
bittersweet, and any other emotion that makes life worthwhile.
